An Argument, a Pie Eating Contest, and a Steward
by RivendellWriter
Summary: Not to mention a cookiecrazed hobbit! Legolas and Pippin get into a fight, Gandalf is wearing a reflective orange jumpsuit, Elrond has a mental breakdown, and find out for yourself! Stand alone sequal to An Arrow, a Knock on the Head and a Strait Jacket.
1. Fight! Fight! Fight!

This is a continuation of my story: **An Arrow, a Knock on the Head, and a Strait Jacket**, but easily stands alone. So you can read this, then go and read the previous one, if you want. :)  
  
I do not own Lord of the Rings, ect. Please read and review!

* * *

"A tree?!" Merry asked with disbelief.  
  
Pippin nodded his head, an impish grin on his face, "Uh huh." He shifted his position on the Rivendell living room floor. "You should have seen it!"  
  
Suddenly the door slammed open, and Legolas and Gimli strode into the room, arguing about which was better, bows or axes.  
  
"My axe beats your bow by a mile!" growled Gimli.  
  
"Please!" cried Legolas, "My bow is far superior!"  
  
Merry and Pippin broke out laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" Gimli looked at the hobbits, feeling a twinge of annoyance. What if they were laughing at him?  
  
Merry giggled, "Hey Legolas," he teased, "How's Marcia?"  
  
Legolas blushed a very un-elf-like shade of red.  
  
Gimli questioned the blushing elf, a look of amusement on his face, "Marcia?"  
  
"Yeah!" Pippin yelled enthusiastically, "You see, Gandalf was playing with Legolas's bow and accidentally hit him (Legolas, that is) on the head. And then, Legolas fell in love with this tree named Marcia, and then—"  
  
"I did not!" protested Legolas.  
  
"Yes you did!" Pippin insisted, "I was there!"  
  
Legolas screamed, "No I didn't! I—"  
  
"I'm not a liar!" Pippin fumed.  
  
"Then you are certainly very ill informed!" raged Legolas.  
  
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Merry chanted, eyes wild with anticipation.  
  
"Quiet!" Gimli glared at Merry.  
  
The hobbit stopped momentarily.  
  
"Now," Gimli stepped between them, "No need to tear each other to pieces," there was a mischievous glint in his eyes, "at least... not yet."  
  
"Fight! Fight!" Merry began to chant again.  
  
"Will you just be quiet," said Gimli, beginning to get annoyed, "You're not helping things any."  
  
"Fine," Merry sighed.  
  
"But Gimli," Legolas insisted, "That..." he glared at Pippin, "meddler needs to be taught not to mess in other people's business."  
  
"And he called me a liar!" Pippin pointed an accusing finger.  
  
"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"  
  
"Be quiet Merry!" 

  
  
Boromir breathed in the fresh air of Rivendell. It felt good to be back.  
  
"Boy," he said aloud, "Everyone sure is going to be surprised to see me again. I can't wait to see the look on their faces!"  
  
Shouldering his pack, he continued his trek towards the last homely house, a long strip of toilet paper trailing off his shoe.

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Like it? Let me know, please.


	2. CoooOOOkie Crisp!

I do not own Lord of the Rings, Cookie Crisp, ect. Please read and review!

* * *

"That's it! I've had it!" cried Legolas, "There's only one way to settle this!"  
  
"A pie-eating contest?" asked Merry eagerly.  
  
"Of course not! We need a—" began Legolas, only to be interrupted again.  
  
"That's perfect Merry!" Pippin shouted enthusiastically. He turned to smirk at the angry elf, "I, Peregrin Took of Tookland, challenge you, Legolas of Mirkwood, to a pie-eating contest!"  
  
"Oh come on!" Legolas rolled his eyes, "That is so stupid!"  
  
"Why?" teased Gimli, eyes full of merriment, "Are you afraid you'd lose, oh great and _wonderful _elf?" Merry and Pippin giggled as Gimli continued, "Afraid to be beaten by a hobbit?"  
  
"I am not!" protested Legolas hotly.  
  
"Of course not," Gimli chuckled.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Legolas raged.  
  
"What do you think it means?" Gimli responded. He was having way too much fun teasing his friend.  
  
The angry elf glared at the laughing dwarf for a few seconds.  
  
"Fine!" he yelled, turning to Pippin, "I accept your stupid challenge, but don't come crying to me when I beat you!"  
  
"Oh," smirked Pippin, "Don't worry... that won't happen. I'm sure you'll be very happy with second place and won't need my consolation."  
  
"Yeah!" yelled Merry, trying to be part of the conversation.  
  
Everyone stared at him  
  
"Never mind," he mumbled.  
  
"Anyway," continued Pippin, "We'll have the contest outside tomorrow. That is, unless you just want to give up now and spare yourself the humiliation."  
  
"Please!" said Legolas, "I won't be the one humiliated."  
  
"We'll see about that."  
  
Pippin and Legolas glared at each other, then stalked out of the room in different directions.  
  
Gimli muttered to himself, "I suppose I'd better see about getting some pies, and find my camera," he grinned mischievously, walking out of the room, "Oh the blackmail photos..."  
  
Empty silence.  
  
"Umm, hello?"  
  
No answer. Everyone had forgotten about the other hobbit.  
  
Merry let out an evil cackle. "They're mine! All mine!" he yelled, diving beneath the sofa, bringing out a jar of cookies, and proceeding to stuff his face. "CooOOOkie Crisp!" he shouted manically.  
  
Blissful munching filled the silence.

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What do you think? 


	3. Why is the world so cruel?

I don't own Lord of the Rings, ect. Please read and review!

* * *

"This is it!" said Boromir, "Now, I'll go in, and everyone will cry with joy and say:  
  
'Oh Boromir! We thought we'd never see you, the handsomest, bravest and best person overall, ever again!'  
  
and I'll say:  
  
'I'm sorry I caused you so much pain by not letting you know earlier that I was alive! Please find it in your hearts to forgive me!'  
  
and then they'll cry some more and say:  
  
'Oh how could we ever hold a grudge against you, wonderful Boromir?!'  
  
...It'll be great," he sighed, gazing off into space with a dreamy look in his eyes.  
  
"Uh... Boromir?" a voice broke into his daydreams.  
  
"Yes!" Boromir's head jerked around to see Elrond standing behind him holding a watering can.  
  
"You're standing on my flowers," the elf stated.  
  
Boromir looked disappointed, "Oh. Sorry," he moved off of the flower bed.  
  
"You _had_ to stand on my petunias, didn't you?" Elrond said with annoyance, "You couldn't go tear up Gandalf's vegetable garden. You had to ruin mine."  
  
"Well sorry!" cried Boromir, "All I wanted was for people to be glad to see me!" he wailed, "But nobody cares!!"  
  
Elrond straitened up from his trampled petunias and gave the crying human a stern look, "Be a man Boromir."  
  
Boromir's wails only got louder, "Nobody likes me! I'm a... a... loser!!"  
  
The elf looked at Boromir, feeling more and more uncomfortable, "Please, just... just don't cry."  
  
"I'll never be anything!" Boromir bawled rather pathetically, "No one loves me!"  
  
That one struck home. Elrond struggled to keep control over his emotions, saying more to himself than Boromir, "Just... don't... don't..."  
  
"People don't even remember my name!" Boromir continued, "I'm just here to solve their problems! No seems to notice that maybe I have problems too!"  
  
"...cry!!" Elrond burst into tears, to the great surprise of Boromir.  
  
Boromir had suddenly stopped his wailing and stared at Elrond, "Dude... are you okay?"  
  
"Why is the world so cruel?!!" the elf sobbed, head in his hands.  
  
"Umm..." Boromir said, feeling very uncomfortable, "I'm going to go look for everyone else."  
  
"Go ahead! Leave! Everyone else does! What about Elrond?!!" he yelled hysterically to no one in particular, sobbing.  
  
"I'll be going now," Boromir made a quick exit.  
  
"Man..." he mumbled, once he had put considerable distance between himself and the weeping Elrond, "That guy needs some serious therapy!"

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Good? Bad? Downright awful? I need some feedback here. 


	4. I escaped!

I don't own Lord of the Rings, Oreo, ect. Please read and review!

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"All right!" Gimli shouted, holding a camera gleefully, "Now, you know the rules: Whoever eats the most pie wins!"  
  
Pippin and Legolas glared at eat other from across the pie-laden picnic table.  
  
"You are _so_ going down," Legolas scowled.  
  
Pippin leaned back confidently and placed his hairy feet on the table. "Yeah, right," he smirked, "I'm a hobbit, remember?"  
  
A look of dismay flitted across Legolas's face. Oops. Forgot that little detail. "Well," sputtered the elf, "I'm still going to win!"  
  
Gimli raised his eyebrows in amusement. This was going to be fun. He raised his camera to his eye. Correction: this was going to be _very_ fun. "On your mark..."  
  
"Wait! Wait!" Gandalf screamed while running out from the crowd of spectators that had gathered, wearing a reflective orange jumpsuit.  
  
Gimli rolled his eyes, "What are you doing here Gandalf?" he glanced at the orange jumpsuit, "Did they let out of your time-out or something?"  
  
"Well, No," stated Gandalf, "I escaped. And it's _probation_, not time-out... but that's not the point!"  
  
"What _is _the point?" sighed Gimli, adding under his breath, "I should probably report you to Elrond anyway."  
  
"No!" Gandalf pleaded, glancing around nervously, "No one must know that I escaped!"  
  
"It's a little too late for that, don't you think?" Gimli motioned to the crowd staring at Gandalf's orange reflectiveness.  
  
"Oops," said Gandalf, pleading again, "Just please don't tell Elrond, or _worse_, the council!!"  
  
"Fine. Just be quiet, don't hurt anybody, and _don't _play with any weapons!" Gimli glared up at him.  
  
The reflective wizard looked up at the sky guiltily.  
  
"Gandalf..." Gimli held out his hand, "Give it to me."  
  
"Oh poopsies," Gandalf said disappointedly. He handed the dwarf his (Gimli's) axe.  
  
"And the other..."  
  
The wizard sighed, handing Gimli Legolas's bow, which he had stolen, _again_.  
  
"And..."  
  
Gandalf dejectedly handed him a large, studded, Cave Troll club.  
  
"Good boy, Gandalf," said Gimli slowly, "Now why don't you go sit down over there."  
  
The weaponless and reflective escapee just sighed and sat down where Gimli had directed him.  
  
"Now," Gimli began again, "Let's get started. On your mark..."  
  
Legolas gave a final tuck to his spotless white napkin and raised his knife and fork expectantly.  
  
Pippin just grinned at the elf. "Nice fork," he couldn't help but mumble.  
  
The elf ignored him.  
  
"Get set..."  
  
"Cookies!!!" Merry screamed insanely as he ran towards the group. He dove face first into one of the pies sitting on the table.  
  
Everyone stared in shock.  
  
"Well," sighed Pippin sadly, as if this happened all the time, "There goes the Oreo cookie cream pie."

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First of all, thank you to all of you who have reviewed already. You have no idea how much your support means to me!

Please review! Please?


	5. Mine!

Ouch... that hurt. I just got my first real flame. But just let me say something.

Flamers: What are you afraid of? If you're afraid to take credit for your words, why say them? If you're going to flame, at least sign your review, cowards.

Why do have to cuss me out when all I did was try my best to write an entertaining story? I doubt it you even read it. Now, if you had criticized my story or writing skills instead of just using language I can't repeat to describe this story, things would be different. I can take criticism. Jenna, anonymous flamer, people like you are a disgrace to this website. Grow up and learn to act like an adult.

Whoo! Glad I got that out of my system! Sorry about that...

I don't own Lord of the Rings, ect. Please read and review!

* * *

Legolas stared at face first hobbit in his pie. "Um... is he okay?"  
  
Pippin giggled, "Merry is kind of... cookie crazed."  
  
"Well I hope he doesn't eat the banana cream pie," mumbled Legolas, "That's my favorite kind."  
  
Merry's head popped up from the now empty pie tin. "Banana cream pie? That has wafers! And wafers are... are... cookies!!" He dove into the banana cream pie.  
  
Legolas groaned, "No! Me and my big mouth!"  
  
Pippin cheered, "Go Merry go! Show them how a hobbit eats pie!"  
  
"What should we do?" asked Gimli, baffled.  
  
"Revoloution!" cried Gandalf from where he was sitting.  
  
Everyone ignored him.  
  
"Well... all of the pies can't have cookies in them," Legolas looked at the pies.  
  
"Actually," Gimli reluctantly admitted, "they do."  
  
"WHAT?" Legolas screeched, grabbing his hair.  
  
Merry had finished eating the banana cream and looked up, his face covered in yellow pudding. "COOKIES!!! WOOOHOOO!!!"  
  
"Go Merry!" shouted Pippin to his cousin, then turned to the crowd, "Hey everybody! Merry's going for a new record!"  
  
The crowd cheered. "Merry! Merry! Merry!"  
  
"Well," muttered Legolas, "Things can't possibly get any worse."  
  
"Hello everyone! Miss me?" Boromir bounded up to the table, a big smile pasted on his face.  
  
Legolas dropped his head on the table, dejectedly. "Never mind."  
  
Boromir looked over at the half-empty table, "Hey, is that chocolate chip cookie dough pie? My favorite!"  
  
"Mine!" Merry grabbed the pie tin violently.  
  
"No fair! You already had pie!" Boromir grabbed at the pie tin, "At least let me have a piece!"  
  
"Mine!" Merry's eye began to twitch.  
  
"Give me pie!" yelled Boromir, snatching the pie tin away from Merry.  
  
"Mine!!!" Merry tackled Boromir.  
  
"Think you spoke too soon?" Gimli asked Legolas, who was still sitting with his head on the table.  
  
"No, really?" responded Pippin sarcastically, grinning, "Whatever made you think that?"  
  
"No, mine!!"  
  
"Mine!!!"  
  
"MINE!!!"

* * *

Look, I have only gotten reviews from three different people (not including the flamer). I need to know if this story is worth writing or not. If it isn't, then just tell me, okay? Don't cuss, just tell me, please. I am feeling really discouraged about this story. It doesn't help that "Jenna" makes me feel like crying. 

I probably won't be updating again for a while until I get a few reviews. I know this seems a lot like black mail, but I'm not trying to. I just want to know whether or not I should continue this story. Please. Please. Don't leave me here wondering if I just can't write. Tell me! ...please? :'(

I don't normally do this, but I felt it was needed.

**Kelsey:** Thank you for reviewing my story. It's people like you who make me glad that I allow anonymous reviews!

**Macotee: **I am SO glad you liked it. You don't know how much it means to me that you do. :)

**Hyperactive Forever: **Thank you SO much! I'm glad I've made SOMEBODY laugh!

**Jenna: **Grow up. None of us want to hear your four-letter words.


	6. OH THE TRUAMA!

Wow! I've never had so many reviews in my entire life!! Okay, first of all, thank you to everyone who reviewed! Your wonderful support made my week! I know I shouldn't listen to flamers, but I still forget sometimes... :P Sorry it took me so long to update, school's just been so busy! Anyway, **thank you so much!!**

I do not own Lord of the Rings, ect.

* * *

So basically, the pie eating contest was a total flop. After Merry had eaten over half of the pies (due to the various cookie products included in them) and wrestled with Boromir over the cookie dough one (Boromir lost), most of the pies were gone anyway. 

Then, Gandalf suddenly decided to see if he could fly.

Surprise, surprise. He couldn't.

Gandalf was unhurt. The pies, however, were not.

"Forget it!" Gimli yelled in disgust, "I give up!"

"Wait! NO!!" Gandalf got up, cowering, from his face first position on the table, his reflective convict jumpsuit covered in pie mush, "Not the evil bunnies!!"

Silence.

"Sure Gandalf," said Gimli, moving slowly towards Gandalf with a coil of rope, "Whatever you say."

"Maybe we should go get Elrond," muttered Legolas, eyeing the wizard warily.

"You'll never catch me!" Cackled Gandalf as he leaped off the table and ran, arms outstretched like wings, "Together we will rule the galaxy as father and son!!"

"Come back here you little—" Gimli chased after the insane Gandalf.

Merry suddenly stopped licking his fingers, glanced between Gandalf and Gimli, and gulped nervously, "They're not actually father... and son, _are_ they?!"

"Eww! No!" Screeched Legolas, making a disgusted face, "That's just gross!"

"I don't know Leggie," interjected Pippin, not actually serious (then again, when is he?). "What if they are?" he laughed.

Legolas turned an unattractive shade somewhere between red and green. "DON'T CALL ME LEGGIE!!" he raged, then replied, "And no. Case closed. They are not related. That was a totally stupid and uneducated conclusion."

Merry sniffed pathetically, "Fine, be that way. It was only an innocent question!" He curled up in a ball. A few moments later, stifled sobbing sounds could be heard.

"Oh come on Lego, now you've made him cry," Pippin gazed down at his cousin.

"DON'T CALL ME LEGO!!! My _name_ is Legolas!! And I don't care... He deserves it." Sniffed the disdainful elf.

The sobs got louder.

"No he doesn't!" insisted Pippin.

No reply.

"You apologize or... or..." stammered the Hobbit.

"Or what?" taunted Legolas, starting to feel irritated. He hadn't done anything wrong. The little sucker had deserved it... hadn't he? Legolas pushed the grain of doubt out of the mind. The prince of Mirkwood was _always_ right... even when he was wrong.

"I'll... I'll..." Pippin searched around for the perfect idea, suddenly his face lit up in triumph. He grinned evilly. "I'll tell Marcia!"

"NO!!" screamed Legolas frantically, "Anything but that!!"

"But Legolas, I thought you didn't like Marcia?" Pippin raised his eyebrows in amusement. Merry had come out from his fetal position and was watching the occurrences with great interest, all traces of his distress miraculously gone.

"I... I... I don't!" the elf looked embarrassed.

"Fine," said Pippin dramatically, "Then I'll just go tell Marcia how you've insulted my poor cousin and caused him great emotional trauma!"

Merry sat there, watching in silence.

"Yes," repeated Pippin loudly, "GREAT EMOTIONAL TRAUMA."

Still no reaction from the 'greatly traumatized' hobbit.

Pippin leaned over and whispered urgently, "Merry, your cue!"

"Oh," he whispered softly. Legolas looked at him suspiciously. "I mean, OH THE TRUAMA!!" He wailed convincingly. "OH THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL!!" He put his hand over his face and crumpled to the ground. "Tell my (wheeze) mother... that I (cough) love... her." He went limp.

Legolas just stared in horror.

"Oh hey guys," interrupted Boromir, his lower lip swollen badly, "I'm just getting the chips." He noticed Merry. "Is he okay?"

"IT'S All MY FAULT!! I'M SO SORRY!!!" wailed Legolas, in tears.

"Merry... he's not with us anymore," Pippin announced sadly, tears filling his eyes.

"Bummer," muttered Boromir, rubbing the swollen lip Merry had given him, "So, I'll just take these cookies here..."

The 'departed' Merry jerked up enthusiastically.

Legolas's jaw thumped as it hit the floor.

"Did somebody say COOKIES?!!"

* * *

Please review! 

Now, to thank all the lovely people who reviewed!

**Zeldalotr:** I will, don't worry. Thank you so much!

**DieingStar:** Thanks! I'm glad you 'loved it'!

**InsanelyObsessed:** Wow! Thanks! Yeah, cousins can be crazy, can't they? lol!

**ximena:** Thank you! Yes, of course that makes sense. And you're not bad a writing reviews!

**anxioustritip:** I'm glad you think so! Are you sure you're talking about this story? :) Thanks!

**Aisling Niahm:** Thank you! Yeah, I'm not really one for script either (besides, technically, that's not allowed). I am so glad you liked it!

**Draco's Daughter:** Thank you very much! More will come!

**THECheeseTurkey:** What an interesting name! Definately unique! I'm glad you thought it was funny, and thanks, I needed to hear that. :)

**Star Wars Forever:** Hmm... a fellow Star Wars fan? Yay! Yes, I do need to work on having longer chapters, and I'm trying, really. Thanks, I'm glad you thought it was funny!

**Hanna M.:** Wow! Thanks! And, about Jenna, don't worry, I've gotten over it (with the help of you lovely reviewers!)... She reviewed again! What I'm wondering is, if she hated it so much, why did she bother to read it again? It's the guilt, I think... ;)

**Bruce:** Well, you are entitled to your own opinion. Thank you for telling me. First, thank you for using appropriate language! Second, I'm fourteen, not thirteen (close!). Third, are you sure you want all thirteen year olds to know everything about life? Just think about it...

**LOTR FREAK:** Thanks! Don't worry, I'll be writing more.

**yodeling dog:** Wow! You reviewed every chapter! THANK YOU!!!

**Hyperactive Forever:** Yay! Another review from you! Thanks for sticking with me! Seagulls? Hmm... :)

**Jenna:** Well, I'm not sure whether to feel insulted or greatful. Thank you for saying my writing will improve with time. But why did you bother to review again if you hated my story so much the first time? And are you incapable of reviewing properly? I'm not trying to insult you or anything, but please, if you're going to review, flame, or anything, use apropriate language! Is that so hard?

**TrekieGreenieShannaraElfO:** Thanks! I don't know why I brought back Boromir, it just seemed like a chance at humor... :)

**Legolas4me:** Oh, thank you! I really appreciate it!

**KissTheRainGirl12489:** Well, thanks! I'm glad you took the time to review! I don't expect to be excellent, I'm only just learning.

**Redneck626:** Yes, he is insane, isn't he? Thank you!

**Arya15:** Thanks! And yes, he hides his Psycoticness (is that a word?) quite well.

**Badger Luver:** Wow! You reviewed every chapter! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Thank you! And yes, we all love Elrond... sort of.

**Kikyo-the-Walnut:** Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it (and took the time to review it both anonymously AND come back and review signed)!

**I AM EOWYN:** Thank you! I really needed to hear that! I love your story too!


	7. My Dear Marcia

Wow, it's been a... well, a _really_ long time since I've updated. Sorry about that. School's just been taking up so much of my time, but now this is finally finished. Yay! Yes, I know. It's short. I was planning on it being longer, really. It just didn't work out. Besides, this just seemed like the perfect place to end it. :)

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed!!

I don't own Lord of the Rings, ect.

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"But… but…" stammered the elf, staring at the suddenly 'resurrected' Merry, "You're supposed to be dead!" 

"Yeah," said Boromir, simultaneously snatching and clutching the cookies protectively to his chest, eyeing the cookie crazed hobbit warily. He turned to the elf. "But I'm not. That's just what they _want_ you to think. You see, it all started with these orcs…"

Pippin interrupted. "Boromir, he was talking about Merry." He laughed. "Contrary to popular belief, the world does not revolve around you."

"Well sor-_RY_!" scowled Boromir, broodily munching on a cookie.

"MINE!!!" Merry lunged with the screech of a nazgul at suppertime.

Needless to say, Boromir lost… pitifully.

"I WANT MY MOMMY!" he wailed, sitting on the ground cradling his left arm where Merry had bit him.

Pippin shook his head sadly. "Poor man, no dignity whatsoever."

"No dignity," echoed Merry around a mouthful of cookies.

"Now," Pippin turned back to the flabbergasted elf, "About Marcia…"

"Um… uh… Marcia?" stammered Legolas, turning a lovely crimson color, "Why… whoever do you mean?"

"You know," interjected Merry, "Marcia, the love of your life. Or should I say the _tree_ of your life. You know, the one that me and Pippin are secretly blackmailing you into admitting that you like by doing this whole thing with the pie eating contest and me pretending to be dead then you feeling guiltily. You know, that Marcia." Pippin glared at him. "Oh. I mean… well… uh, you see… oops."

Pippin rolled his eyes in exasperation, "Nice going Merry. You ruined the whole part about it being secret."

"Wait a minute!" shouted Legolas angrily, realization showing on his face, "You mean to tell me that this whole thing was a huge plot to get me to say that I like some stupid tree!"

"No, no, no," corrected Merry, "Not just 'some stupid tree', Marcia!"

"Forget it!" Legolas said with disgust, walking away from them.

"Wait!" shouted Pippin, running after the elf, followed by Merry.

The blonde elf whirled around, "What?!"

"We're sorry," said Merry, "really, we are. We just thought that you liked her—Marcia, I mean—and wanted you two to be happy together."

"Yeah," said Pippin, "That's what it was. We just wanted you to be happy."

Legolas hesitated for a moment, "Really?"

"Sure," said Pippin.

"Oh," Legolas smiled, then suddenly became serious again, "But seriously, I don't like Marcia. Honestly I don't."

"Bummer," said Merry sadly.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well," said Legolas, "Glad we got that cleared up. I have things to do. See you two later!" He turned on his heel and left, a piece of paper flying out of his pocket and floating softly to the ground.

"Hey Merry," pointed Pippin, glancing after the now distant elf, "Look what fell out of Blondie's pocket."

Merry moved closer and, picking it up, looked at it with interest. "It's a letter!" he yelled with excitement then, noticing the name at the top, he gasped. "And look who it's addressed to!"

"Let me see!" Pippin leaned over the paper with interest. He grinned evilly. "It says 'My dearest Marcia'!!"

Merry grinned as well. The hobbits bent over the creased piece of paper.

It read:

_My dearest Marcia,_

_By now you should know how I feel. The truth is, I love you, and have ever since we first met. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you, my dear Marcia. I constantly find myself remembering how the sunlight glints off of your leaves, accentuating their shining greenness, or how your smooth bark felt beneath my fingers. Every waking moment I hope and pray that you might feel the same, and every night I dream that you do. My beautiful Marcia, I don't think I can live without you. I'm almost afraid to ask, but do you return my sentiments?_

_Love with all my heart,_

_Legolas_

Merry and Pippin looked at each other and suddenly burst out laughing.

"Oh, he is _definitely_ going to hear about this one!" grinned Merry, an evil glint in his eye.

Pippin grinned as well, "I can see it all now."

The hobbits set off running towards the house, laughing.

Once again everyone had forgotten about Boromir.

Noticing that the hobbits had now gone, and left a certain letter lying carelessly on the ground, Boromir went over, picked it up, and read it with great interest. He glanced towards the woods, back at the letter, then back at the woods again and commented, "For some reason, I find this oddly disturbing."

**The End.**

**

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**

Thank you everyone for making this possible and encourageing me to continue!

**J-chan: **Wow! Thanks! ... Your name is really Jenifer Lopez? Cool!**  
**

**Ariei: ** Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!

**Hyperactive Forever:** Thanks! Cookie and cheesit bing huh? Yeah, I've done that before. lol!

**TrekieGreenieShannaraElfOfME: **Thanks. Sorry, I couldn't bring myself to kill old Bor again. Although, Merry does bite him. :)

**no-one-of-importance:** Hey, thanks! Don't worry, you are important!

**Legolas4me:** Thank you! I'm glad you think so highly of me!

**Macotee:** Wow, thanks! Go Merry!

**Raised in an asylum:** Thanks!

**Book Anaconda in the Rain:** Thanks! Frodo and Sam are on vacation in Hawaii. I figured they needed it. lol!

**Surfredia: **Thank you!

**Draco's Daughter:** Thanks! Wait! Are you okay? Breathe! Breathe!

**Sachico:** Thank you muchly!

**Sadhbh:** Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

**Fox of the Nova:** Wow, thanks! Don't worry, Boromir lives in this story (although he does suffer some minor wounds from Merry). lol!

**Kikyo-the-Walnut:** Yeah, that Boromir, a great source of comic relief, no? And Merry, well, he just 'special'. Thanks for the review!


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